DON’T READ IF YOU HAVEN’T WATCHED THE FIRST EPISODE OF SEASON 6 OF LOST. If you don’t care about the show at all, just skip the post entirely.
Tonight was the big season opener for the final season of LOST. In true form of the show all this new episode did was create more and new confusion. All in the charm I suppose. My friend Phil wrote this blog post following tonight’s episode about the interesting wardrobes of the “Others” there appear to be on the show. Maybe one day we will get answers.
SERIOUS SPOILER ALERTS BELOW! DONâ€™T READ THIS IF YOU HAVENâ€™T WATCHED TONIGHTâ€™S LOST! SCROLL UP! SCROLL UP! EJECT!
â€œYour Life As One of â€˜The Othersâ€™â€ – An Orientation Letter to New â€œOthersâ€ Arriving On The Island.
Hello and welcome to the magical island of LOST.
We know you have a choice when it comes to magical islands and weâ€™re glad you chose ours. Our â€œOtherâ€ program is quite possibly one of the best in the world and we pride ourselves on providing you with the best experience possible. We believe that as an Other, you need to be challenged and provided with a wide variety of options as you go through life on the island. Here are just a few of our programs:
Fuck With Plane Crash Victims / Scraggly Dirty Others
Are you an outdoorsman? Do you despise showering? Try our nomadic Others program. Your job will be to don muddy clothing, creep around the woods whispering things, and intimidating visitors to the island. This is not for the faint of heart. Youâ€™ll need to sleep outdoors, look malnourished, and scare anyone you come across. Ideally weâ€™re looking for candidates who know how to shoot flaming arrows and kidnap babies.
Suburban Book Club Others
Is the outdoorsy life not for you? No problem! Stop by our little suburban getaway in the Dharma village! Others in the Suburban program get to dress much more sensibly – nice khakis, button-ups, and other business casual attire is encouraged. Here youâ€™ll be with Others who enjoy a good quiche, listening to NPR (when the signal comes in), and our book club is always looking for new members!
Spiritual Temple Others
This little program is our best-kept-Other-secret. In fact itâ€™s so secret, itâ€™s been around for five seasons and with the exception of a boring flight attendant, no oneâ€™s ever seen any of us before! Crazy, right? Anyway, if youâ€™re sick of the dirty outdoors life, but a little too â€œearthyâ€ for our suburban program, come join our Temple Other program. Here in our temple you can dress like youâ€™re from an ancient society or take baths in our delightful hot tub. Our Temple Others program offers classes in foreign languages, beginner pyrotechnics, and being mysterious.
2007 is a big year for our Others program. Finally revealing our â€œTemple Othersâ€ program may seem a little outlandish considering thereâ€™s only about 10 episodes left in the show before everything needs to be wrapped up and explained, but we feel that itâ€™s a great additional option to add to our repertoire and we hope you agree.
So please, stop on by Human Resources located in the Flame Station. Weâ€™ll get you your appropriate uniform, give you some paperwork and W-9 forms to fill out, and then start you on your new fantastic life here on the island.
Weâ€™re so happy to have you on the team.